Managing parenting and business

[Woodspan]

Hello everyone

I don't post much, but I do lurk a great deal and have gained a great deal of valuable information.

I have a question for those of you who are full-time homemakers as well as adult webmasters. I have three kids and two dogs who are puppies which makes them basically children. I quit my job a year ago and my wife works. My kids are all young with my oldest going to Kindergarden this fall.

My question is to those of you who are in a similar situation as me. What are your tricks/techniques/secrets/what have you, for getting quality work done while still juggling household and family issues. I don't think I have to elaberate too much about how as soon as I sit to work a new trauma occurs or a diaper needs to be changed, etc.

I have thought about working at night after all are in bed, but my wife puts the stop on this due to it being "our time". Early morning is sketchy as my youngest is up around 6:00-6:15am........Yuck.

Maybe there is no solution or trick, but I thought I would at least throw it out there and see if others might have ideas I haven't thought of.

Thanks in advance
Woodspan

[Useless]

Be patient. Eventually, they'll want nothing to do with you - not the wife, not the kids, not the dogs.

I found it more difficult to convince the dogs that they'd be better off disliking me from afar. The wife was easy. She never bothers me. I assume she simply doesn't like me, but I've heard that she has some sort of sick fantasy in her pretty blonde head which makes her think that I may possibly succeed at this some day. (What a fucking fool.) With the kids, I have found a subtle balance between threatening the destruction of their XBox and the reward of McDonalds.

You too, will someday find this balance.

[Evil Chris]

Pretty good question.
We have a 3 year old and he's been going to daycare for about a year and a half now. He gets a lot out of it, and we get to work, clean house, etc..
Come 5pm however, our computers are pretty much in the OFF position until later in the evening.

You sound like your hands are really full over there.

[ponygirl]

wow you do have your hands full

there really is nothing much you can do until they're out of the house for a few hours a day. If you can, get a sitter or daycare for a couple of hours, a few days/wk to let you get some uninterrupted time, then work like crazy for those couple of hours.

Break your tasks up into things that can get done in say 10-20 minute intervals. That way you may actually get something done before the next crisis

UW is completely right - XBox is a fabulous tool when they're old enough

other than that, I just don't clean, do laundry, vaccuum....gives me lots more free time

[Tommy]

I have the same problem but i can get a couple of good hours at night

its 1130 am and I just booted up
I have been informed by the boss that shes leaving in an hour and I have to watch 1 of em
so make the most of my time

Pony girl hit the nail on the head
during the day i work in 10 to 20 min spurts

barney tapes help a little

stay off icq, eliminate the time killers

those hours at night are to valuable to sacrifice watching TV and cuddling

[Woodspan]

Thanks for your reply's. UW..........I love reading your posts as I always get a good chuckle. You have a way with words.

I agree on the daycare issue. The reason I quit is the daycare was costing a fortune. Good lord........I could be living in a mansion if I added the daycare cost on to out regular mortgage.

The other unfortunate part of being at home is that people think just because you don't have a "real" job, you just sit home and drink beer and watch HBO. On top of the other responsibilities I end up running all over gods green earth doing crap for my wife and family. I'm not doing anything anyway......right......lol

Seeing from your responses I'm going to have to make some changes. Maybe one of those paper boy jobs really early in the morning to get enough money to get the kids in daycare at least part time.

I know in the long run my kids will bear unlimited dividends, but it does get aweful frustrating when you just can't get anything done and you see technology/industry seemingly passing you by.

Thanks again for the feedback and if there are others who have ideas please don't be afraid to share.......

[ArtWilliams]

I try to get my daughter a play date with a friend at our house for two reasons. One, when she and a friend are together they aren't bothering me and two, the other parent normally recips which means I have a number of hours to myself. My son is a teen and pretty independent now. If he's not sleeping he is usually at the skateboard park with his friends.

Oh yeah, let your kids stay up late and make sure you're the first up in the morning. Those early morning hours are my most productive.

---art

[TopbucksTrixxxi]

Woodspan,
Not that I'm the best at this but I try to do my personal 'porn work' when they are sleeping. With school out now, it's getting a little more demanding with soccer games/practices and the like.



During 'work' hours - everyone on the face of the planet knows that:
1) If we don't work, the bills don't get paid.
2) If I choose to work at home, it's because I get more done without the waste of time travelling in traffic - there's no way in hell I'll go driving around on errands for anyone else.
3) There are exceptions - but basically, when I decided to stay home to work - from the first request to go out and run an errand for someone else, I replied with a question "Would your boss mind if you were running errands for me? He would? Yeah, so does mine - whether it's a company or the bank that collects your mortgage, they don't care about the favours you're doing for your friends/family"

I know your kids are younger than mine (my youngest is almost 6) but even when it was time for a diaper change or a time to feed I would use that time to clear my thoughts and plan what I would get ready when I'd sit again.

Don't let the situation frustrate you - your kids are young once and in a few years, you'll regret having missed out on 'enjoying' them. LMAO

[docholly]

Originally Posted by TopbucksTrixxxi

Woodspan,
Not that I'm the best at this but I try to do my personal 'porn work' when they are sleeping. With school out now, it's getting a little more demanding with soccer games/practices and the like.



During 'work' hours - everyone on the face of the planet knows that:
1) If we don't work, the bills don't get paid.
2) If I choose to work at home, it's because I get more done without the waste of time travelling in traffic - there's no way in hell I'll go driving around on errands for anyone else.
3) There are exceptions - but basically, when I decided to stay home to work - from the first request to go out and run an errand for someone else, I replied with a question "Would your boss mind if you were running errands for me? He would? Yeah, so does mine - whether it's a company or the bank that collects your mortgage, they don't care about the favours you're doing for your friends/family"

I know your kids are younger than mine (my youngest is almost 6) but even when it was time for a diaper change or a time to feed I would use that time to clear my thoughts and plan what I would get ready when I'd sit again.

Don't let the situation frustrate you - your kids are young once and in a few years, you'll regret having missed out on 'enjoying' them. LMAO

Very Well said!!

You also might want to work out parameters with your spouse that you need a 2-3 hour block of time to actually work, whether it's early in the AM or at night .. take 30 minutes to spend with her and the kids, then go work and really work, no icq, no board reading etc..and if at all possible put up a sign.. WORKING even if it is just on your desk and get them to understand when that sign is up -- No bothering.

[SirMoby]

I have a little one here but luckily my wife takes care of her most of the day. I think you're going to have to spend some evenings working just like you would any other part time job.

Treat this as a business and you will earn the income of a business. Treat it as a hobby and that's what you'll get.

The artwilliams points out, the play date thing can be a life saver. If you can do that with 1 or 2 others on a regular basis then you have 1 or 2 more working opportunities.

[Useless]

Originally Posted by SirMoby

The artwilliams points out, the play date thing can be a life saver. If you can do that with 1 or 2 others on a regular basis then you have 1 or 2 more working opportunities.

Plus, if the other moms are hot, you could find some action on the side.

[Tommy]

that brings up another question

do these moms know your a pornographer

do they know that while their little bundles of joy are playing in the next room your building porn sites

I seen a post from dareutwo a while ago, he said something about coaching soccer or some sport

what do you think the parents would say if they knew what he did for a living

Dont get me wrong I am not pointing fingers

I am just curious about how the rest of you feel or deal with that situation
I intend to keep a very low profile when my kids get bigger

[MikeB]

As with everything in life I think you will find the answer in balance. When you understand what others want, you can find a way to get what you want. Just my 2 cents.

[Tart]

Along with the previous suggestions, take the time to play with them whether it's a semi-organized game or outside running, swinging, jumping etc. throughout the day. I've found that a half hour of being fully focused on them and playing hard, earns returns in that they are usually ready to watch a cartoon, quietly play toys, or take naps for a nice chunk of time.

Tommy, I keep a very low profile.. as far as other parents know, I do data entry and web design (which is both true) and I leave it at that. Some of my husband's friends know, and that's it. If the kids were grown, I really wouldn't care who knew.

[TotallyJeanette]

Wow, I admire all of you working from home with a family to worry about! It's obviously not easy.
Good luck Woodspan...I hope somehow things will get easier for ya.

[MarkTiarra]

Hire a hot nanny so you can have her watch the kids and also do her on the side.

Okay that's a porn script... I've got a couple kids here and a small zoo of animals and mostly it's worked best when I set up a strict schedule such that I am in the office (keep it seperate from the house in the furnished basement) and everyone knows I'm not available during those hours just like if I worked away. Now my kids are a bit older so it's easier in that they can take care of themselves for the most part (so maybe that's part of the key for you). Then I make sure they get a couple hours of my time per day as well as my mate. It's kind of about discipline for me making sure time is segmented and everyone gets some... work... family and alone time.

When I look at what I accomplish in a week I actually am fairly surprised. When you setup a scheduling system for yourself you can really get a very full week in that includes downtime. It's when I "dawdle" alot and get very liquid with my time that I get overwhelmed and feel we don't have any.

[Woodspan]

Hello everyone

WOW..........talk about some heavy hitters weighing in on the subject. I certainly appreciate all the input. Often one feels on an island where it seems everybody else has the answer but me.

I took many of your suggestions and wrote them down. I did send the kids to my sisters today and am looking at a job a few hours very early in the morning to hopefully afford daycare at least a few days a week.

I do have my office in the basement, so I will be putting a lock on the door this weekend. I'm learning as I'm going along here, so often things take longer than they should. I also have a little to be desired in the multi-tasking catagory. I'm pretty good with household stuff, but business is terrible. I find I really need to focus hard on a subject or I loose my train of thought. I'm 40, so maybe that has something to do with it...|shocking|

Other than my wife and sister, nobody else knows that I do this. Unfortunatley because I don't bring in a couple of thousand a month those who know think of this as just a "hobby" I have. Boy would I love to turn the tables on them. Sort of a "I told you so thing". That will come in due time.

I do charish the time with my girls and feel fortunate that I have the ability to be a large part of their lives as they grow. Down the line this will bear fruit as I'm sure those of you with older children can attest to. Meanwhile I'll keep plugging along. At least now I know I am part of a fraternity of webmasters who face the same challenges.

To top off a good day, I finally got that first free-site down this afternoon. Boy does that feel good. Many more to follow.

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and suggestions. I very much appreciate your thoughts and ideas.

[Tommy]

Hi Mark

Woodspan

why not just work online early in the morning instead of delivering papers

its a little funny that you think money will make a difference in how your family respects your work time

Just a little peek in to my life
woke up around 10 am
played with the kids till 11am
watched them while my wife went and worked out
now 12:30 pm

then I went and worked out in the basement
1:30 pm


then I had to go to costco
I shoped and when i came home I neatly broke the stuff up and put it away
got rid of the boxes etc etc

Now A neighbor called and she said a family down the block has this huge swing set and their kids are older and dont play with it

also my wife wants to socilaze with these people a bit

so she wants me to go over there take the thing apart bring it to our house and put it back together


I still havent gotten thru my email from this morning

[JustRobert]

Originally Posted by Tommy

why not just work online early in the morning instead of delivering papers

I completely agree with this. I stayed in a great paying job that I absolutely hated to make sure the bills were paid in the beginning. But I got up between 4 & 5 in the morning to bust out 2 hours at this before going to my regular job. I napped at lunch most times. Then put in a couple more at night as long as there was no other kid things happening.

You could do the same. Get a few hours in before the wife goes to work, play with the kids and take a nap with them. Then try and squeeze some time in during the afternoon until the wife gets home let her know ya need 1 or 2 hours to finish up some stuff at least a few nights a week.

Three kids under 5 and 40 years old. I am 42 and all three are over 18, I survived and so will you. Good luck with it all.

[bluemoney]

My sons are 20 & 18. At this point I just hope they stumble upon my site and sign up for something

[Evil Chris]

Just as a side comment, I have a friend in BC with two boys.

Daycare in BC is approx 800 per child or more per month, and not subsidized by the province. So he hired an aupair (from Denmark). Brilliant idea. He gets a live-in and it's much cheaper than both of them in daycare each day.

[SirMoby]

Originally Posted by Evil Chris

Just as a side comment, I have a friend in BC with two boys.

Daycare in BC is approx 800 per child or more per month, and not subsidized by the province. So he hired an aupair (from Denmark). Brilliant idea. He gets a live-in and it's much cheaper than both of them in daycare each day.

DC is known for the sexy aupairs running around so maybe he's also getting some good exclusive content

[Robbo]

Woodspan I feel for you! I am in the same boat. I`m 40 with two kids one going to kindergarten in the fall, a day sleeping, night shift working wife and a house to take care of inside and out. I`ve been doing this a good 7 years since before my kids were born. Over the years my time has been eaten into severely. For the longest time I just made up by working at night and sacrificing my sleep until I ended up in the hospital with my heart freaking out after years of deprivation. So keep an eye on your sleep. It is an important part of the equation too. The past year has had my work time as limited as it has ever been and on autopilot for a good part of it also due to some other responsibilities I had to deal with. I`m hoping with fall comes a new strategy for me to get more time in working and things smooth out a bit. My big thing became actually being able to work on my stuff after "working" on everything else all the time. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and I was feeling pretty darn dull for a while but finally coming out of my funk and getting my head back to normal. Good luck and hopefully we can cull some fresh strategies to allow our biz to flourish!

[Useless]

It's sort of interesting reading about how you uber-parents stuggle to manage your time so you can eek out a couple of hours of work here and there. Screw it. Slap the little cocksuckers in the back of the head and tell them to go play in traffic.

Doesn't eBay have a category for annoying children?

[TopbucksTrixxxi]

Originally Posted by Useless Warrior

It's sort of interesting reading about how you uber-parents stuggle to manage your time so you can eek out a couple of hours of work here and there. Screw it. Slap the little cocksuckers in the back of the head and tell them to go play in traffic.

Doesn't eBay have a category for annoying children?

My, my - haven't you been winning the Parent of the Year award for the past 5 years! LMAO (ebay )

*still laughing*