New Year, New Beginnings

Pagan · 2012-01-05, 11:13 AM

What a roller coaster ride this last 2 years has been. I lost one husband (and good friend) in January of 2010, and had to deal with everything surrounding his sudden death at 48 including his family in Poland, I was so low at times I just wanted to die.. but tried to work through it. I know I wasn't myself or a very good part of this community. I really never expected his death to hit me so very hard but it did. Then we lost Mr MaryLou and a lot of the joy of networking here seemed to go with him. He gave a lot of us direction and laughter when we needed it the most. Last summer, I met a wonderful man online and ended up not only getting married in October but moving from Texas to Finland. For the last 4 months, I have been learning to live again... I am now part of a family, learning a new language and starting a new life as a housewife and full-time webmaster. I left so very much behind in Texas... my home, my animals, my day job.. but I gained so much here. I have relaxed and hopefully become me again. I miss my desktop computer and cable internet service so much these days... but I would not trade this for anything at all.

So.. with the new year comes reflections and resolutions... to those I may have offended or treated badly during my dark days, please forgive me. Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, we all have burdens that are simply too great to bear alone. Any grief I caused was not intentional, believe me. If fences can be mended, I would love to try. All I can say is I will try harder this next year.. to build more sites, update more frequently, and be a better more active member of this community. Thank you all for your support and kindness...

Ramster · 2012-01-05, 11:20 AM

Good to hear life is treating you good again.

Cleo · 2012-01-05, 11:54 AM

No worries... the world ends this year.

Greenguy · 2012-01-05, 03:03 PM

gnarpen · 2012-01-05, 04:13 PM

Honey! nice to se you around again
hugs and love from your "neighbour"

JustRobert · 2012-01-05, 11:46 PM

Good to hear you are doing well again Pagan!

Fonz · 2012-01-06, 03:36 AM

That's good to hear Pagan. I like seeing happy people

Pagan · 2012-01-06, 08:02 AM

Thanks guys... I really do appreciate the support. It feels good to be back to working on sites now.. not forced. And yes.. it feels so good to be happy. I had forgotten what this feels like...

ArtWilliams · 2012-01-06, 08:52 AM

Welcome back.

Simon · 2012-01-06, 11:15 AM

Good to see you back around. Sound like you're happy and I hope things keep going well over there for you.

mOrrI · 2012-01-06, 11:57 AM

Welcome back and I hope for a great 2012 to you and also to all the other board members

housekeeper · 2012-01-06, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cleo

No worries... the world ends this year.

Yep, we've got 'til Dec 21 to live it up

Bill · 2012-01-06, 08:07 PM

Holy cow - that's a wild life story. From texas to finland - you lucky duck, is what I think I want to say.

2012-01-05, 11:13 AM	#1
Pagan Perverted Empress Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Finland Posts: 4,675	New Year, New Beginnings What a roller coaster ride this last 2 years has been. I lost one husband (and good friend) in January of 2010, and had to deal with everything surrounding his sudden death at 48 including his family in Poland, I was so low at times I just wanted to die.. but tried to work through it. I know I wasn't myself or a very good part of this community. I really never expected his death to hit me so very hard but it did. Then we lost Mr MaryLou and a lot of the joy of networking here seemed to go with him. He gave a lot of us direction and laughter when we needed it the most. Last summer, I met a wonderful man online and ended up not only getting married in October but moving from Texas to Finland. For the last 4 months, I have been learning to live again... I am now part of a family, learning a new language and starting a new life as a housewife and full-time webmaster. I left so very much behind in Texas... my home, my animals, my day job.. but I gained so much here. I have relaxed and hopefully become me again. I miss my desktop computer and cable internet service so much these days... but I would not trade this for anything at all. So.. with the new year comes reflections and resolutions... to those I may have offended or treated badly during my dark days, please forgive me. Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, we all have burdens that are simply too great to bear alone. Any grief I caused was not intentional, believe me. If fences can be mended, I would love to try. All I can say is I will try harder this next year.. to build more sites, update more frequently, and be a better more active member of this community. Thank you all for your support and kindness... __________________ So, who sprinkled all that Bitchy dust?

2012-01-05, 11:20 AM	#2
Ramster Life is good Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Ottawa, Canada Posts: 11,693	Good to hear life is treating you good again. __________________ Pornstar Legends \| Live Cam Model Shows \| Hungarian Girls Skype: robmurray999

2012-01-05, 11:54 AM	#3
Cleo Subversive filth of the hedonistic decadent West Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Southeast Florida Posts: 27,936	No worries... the world ends this year. __________________ Free Rides on Uber and Lyft Uber Car: uberTzTerri Lyft Car: TZ896289

2012-01-05, 03:03 PM	#4
Greenguy The Original Greenguy (Est'd 1996) & AVN HOF Member - I Crop Pics For Thumbs In My Sleep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Blasdell, NY (shithole suburb south of Buffalo) Posts: 41,786	__________________ Promote POV Porn Cash By Building & Submitting Galleries to the Porn Luv Network

2012-01-05, 04:13 PM	#5
gnarpen Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Sweden Posts: 153	Honey! nice to se you around again hugs and love from your "neighbour" __________________ Good Hosting CyberWurx

2012-01-05, 11:46 PM	#6
JustRobert Bow Ties Are Cool Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: California Posts: 9,397	Good to hear you are doing well again Pagan! __________________ Submit Your Galleries To The Porn Luv Network!

2012-01-06, 03:36 AM	#7
Fonz Former pr0n slinger. Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Antwerp, Belgium Posts: 7,929	That's good to hear Pagan. I like seeing happy people __________________ See how I abuse little trees on my Shumi no Bonsai Blog

2012-01-06, 08:02 AM	#8
Pagan Perverted Empress Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Finland Posts: 4,675	Thanks guys... I really do appreciate the support. It feels good to be back to working on sites now.. not forced. And yes.. it feels so good to be happy. I had forgotten what this feels like... __________________ So, who sprinkled all that Bitchy dust?

2012-01-06, 08:52 AM	#9
ArtWilliams You can now put whatever you want in this space :) Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 6,244	Welcome back.

2012-01-06, 11:15 AM	#10
Simon That which does not kill us, will try, try again. Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Conch Republic Posts: 5,150	Good to see you back around. Sound like you're happy and I hope things keep going well over there for you. __________________ "If you're happy and you know it, think again." -- Guru Pitka

2012-01-06, 11:57 AM	#11
mOrrI You can now put whatever you want in this space :) Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Portugal Posts: 1,083	Welcome back and I hope for a great 2012 to you and also to all the other board members __________________

2012-01-06, 08:07 PM	#13
Bill Selling porn allows me to stay in a constant state of Bliss - ain't that a trip! Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 3,914	Holy cow - that's a wild life story. From texas to finland - you lucky duck, is what I think I want to say.