Talking Dog

[Ana Laura]

One day down in Alabama, a guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale".
He rings the bell and the owner, Bubba, tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard
and sees a black lab just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government,
so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running"..."The jetting around really tired me out,
and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. "So I signed up for a job at the airport
to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies,
and now I'm retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks Bubba what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars".

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"He's a liar. He didn't do any of that shit."

[kristian]

Okay, I've got one.

Guy walking down the street and sees this sign next to a ladder. Sign reads "The Ladder To Success".

Guy thinks, what the hell! He starts climbing. He gets to the top.

There sits this fat sonofabitch, wearing only a pair of white, stained jockeys, that hold the biggest mellon-sized set of balls you ever did see.
















Fat fuck says, "Hi...I'm Cess."

[Certifiedbitch]

those are just funny! thanks for sharing guys.