Saturday November 17th - Black Dog Leave Me Be!
 

That nasty black dog of depression has really had a hold on me. Yeah, the stone is gone but I still hurt. I get to see a doctor for the first time on December 4th. Maybe then we will start to get some answers. I am no longer hopeful. Our doctors here don't seem to be interested at all in doing any kind of preventive care - not even dietary counseling or other non-medication things that can be done to make this better. Don't look for the reasons for the kidney stones -- it is easier to play watch and wait when they happen rather then try to keep them from forming.

Not long after we learned that Cristal had in fact left (the stone was gone), the dark funk hit hard. If we had any kind of schedule here, it probably would have helped a lot but we don't. So, that nasty cold gloom is free to wander around and sap my energy, muddle my thoughts, and generally screw up everything possible. Even working on the Christmas ornaments I am sending to Ronald McDonald House hasn't cheered me up, and that always has in the past.

When I found out about the kidney stone, I stopped taking the vitamin D3 daily supplement as well as the CBD oil. It wasn't so bad in September, but the depression started hitting in October. Now, in November, with only about 8 hours of light, I am totally off the wall depressed and even a bit worse. Yesterday, I decided fuck it. I would rather deal with a kidney stone or two than this gloom. I started back on the D3 and CBD oil. If it isn't better by the time I go to the doctor, I will beg for something stronger.

In the meantime, I have set myself on a schedule. The daily birthday post will be done within 2 hours of my waking up -- whenever that is. Grunt work helps too because then I have a reason to get off my lazy ass and do something. No grunt work means I get to go screw off somewhere else. (Yeah, you can tell I am still in the funk.)

Enjoy your day....

G'day

Glad to see you, Pagan. |smooch|

Today we're going to visit a friend of ours, a buddy and I.
So I will be gone for the rest of the day.
Looking forward to see them again, I'm not especially a social being ...

Enjoy your Saturday
J:)lly

Morning! |waves|

Think about how many times in your life you've been so pissed off that you wanted to punch the wall. I literally punched the wall yesterday, so now there's a nice big hole in the hallway |facepalm| At least I didn't hit a stud :D The number of back to back to back |facepalm|'s just finally put me over the edge. I won't get into all of them, but here's a prime example:
Cable box in my office froze & wouldn't reboot. Called the cable company, gave them the error code & they said it's fucked, bring it into the local office & swap it out, so I do. Get home, hook it up, and this one doesn't work & gives me a different error code. Call them & find out they gave me the wrong box for my setup. Go back to the local office, tell them all this and they give me another box. Get home, hook it up...same error code at the original box. Local office is closed today & closest open one is out near the airport, so I'll be taking a ride today.

We have to finish the bathroom today because The Bitch has 10 friends coming over tomorrow for psychic readings & I gotta give the guy credit: $400 to sell snake oil for 5 hours is good money! I was planning to go watch a game of drunken kickball during the shenanigans, but was just informed by my stepdaughter that she needs me to come down to her house to rearrange furniture in 2 rooms instead |banghead|

I also need to find a picture to hang in the hallway|lol|

Pagan - Posting that much is a GREAT 1st step. I often find music helps :D

Good Morning :)

Forgot to swing by yesterday as my whole schedule was screwed up. Worked outside but my back is killing me this morning so not sure if I'll back out there today.

Started my car yesterday and it was running ragged. Barely limped the car to the dealer as they fit me in with an appointment. Have a feeling this is going to be pricey and right before the holidays |banghead|

I really need to stop procrastinating on this BMW and figure out what new or newer car I want. Since I'm a cheap bastard, I will need to drive it a bit longer to get my money's worth out of it. I actually like the car but it's now 12 years and pricey things are going to start breaking.

Probably going to work on biz stuff mostly due to the back and should get started on it because I'm way behind on that stuff too.

Hang in there Pagan, most of us understand The Funk so feel free to reach out!

Enjoy your Saturday!

Good morning! |coffee

Pagan, I am so sorry to hear that you're not feeling well. Is your CBD derived from hemp or cannabis |potleaf|? I don't know if the latter is available is Finland. It's legal in Canada |canada| now (if you can find it). IMHO, the cannabis CBD is much more effective than the hemp variety. I hope you get over this hump! |lovers|

I am backing up and downloading my sites today. Wordpress 5.0 starts tomorrow so it's a good time to do it. I may work on a few and perhaps sell some stuff on eBay. My latest laptop is a Lenovo Carbon X1 (series 1) and I am really happy with it so I've got a few other machines that I've collected along the way that I need to sell.

Have a great day! |thumb

Hang in there Pagan :)

Happy Saturday everyone |waves| Not doing anything special today, just trying to catch up on things for the most part and maybe almost be caught up on work, ah who am I kidding |lol| So work for the day then going to have a few beers tonight and watch the hockey game |hockey|

I have a good |banghead| for ya. Been waiting to switch a model's site over to me and the company she works with now is soooooo taking their time with shit. Now they say yesterday "this should only take another |30 days"... I'm like 30 days? For fucking what?!? We could just switch the DNS and let you deal with all the chargebacks, how you like them apples? |club| |pokefun|

Pagan if you want to try to track some things down yourself check out https://affordableallergytest.com/pr...olerance-test/

that test changed my life. after being poked and prodded since I was 4 at the age of 41 I finally figured out I was eating stuff that I am intolerant to... I went vegetarian a decade or so ago and I found out even with that I cannot eat any type of lettuce... or apples.... the fuck am I supposed to eat |banghead|

but I feel so much better physically... it might help as I figured out thru having the same type of things as my cat that doctors were just treating me like a vet treating an animal and they didn't help me for shit with my cat or myself. that test changed both our lives |happycat|

in fact I was gonna recommend Greenie give it a try too after seeing that he still gets the mysterious hangovers...

I even have websites bought and am going to sell it it helped me so much...

it costs $72 bucks and they just DNA test your hair...

I would recommend also getting https://affordableallergytest.com/pr...ficiency-test/

it costs $44 and gives you a list of things your body might be lacking...

I may well do that Kinky, especially if the doctor doesn't do anything more about the kidney stuff. As to blues, I think it will begin to lift as the D3 levels come back up again. If not, I may add some calcium to it as I eat very little dairy. Thanks for the info.

As to the CBD we get here, it is all hemp based. Anything cannabis - anything - is very very tightly controlled. CBD is a tightly regulated medical substance here, and our sources are very limited. Even though medicinal marijuana is legal, it is nearly impossible to get a prescription. I guess for now I must settle for the silver and wait for the gold. At times I wonder how sane this living in Finland really is....