damn, did not know this my friend. cliched but true, it does get easier, it does get better, and life improves beyond measure
Keep doing what you need to do, and while my addiction substance isn't/wasn't the same as yours, I'm there 24/7/365 if you EVER need to get ANY stuff out, just message me over at fb
I know sometimes I need to just get stuff out, rather than get answers, so whichever way it is at whichever point, know that we got your back