Here Joe A I'm just going to quickly copy and paste a list of insults, sorry I don't have time to write my own, for you to insult back at. It isn't that you aren't somewhat amusing to fuck with, well actually you are pretty boring to fuck with, but I've got to get back to work.
"Body by Fisher -- brains by Mattel."
$HOME = /dev/null.
3K RAM free, no EMS.
A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.
A 3.5-inch drive, but data on punch cards.
A brain like a BB in a boxcar.
A couplet short of a sonnet.
A day late and a dollar short.
A deadbolt with a broken cylinder.
A few beers short of a six-pack
A six-pack short of a case.
A few bombs/melons short of a full load.
A few bricks short of a wall.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few french fries short of a Happy Meal.
A few open splices.
A few peas short of a casserole.
A few pickles short of a jar.
A few pies short of a holiday.
A few planes short of an Air Force.
A few revisions behind.
A few sandwiches short of a picnic.
A few screws loose.
A few spoons short of a full set.
A few tiles missing from his space shuttle.
A few tiles short of a successful re-entry.
A few too many lights out in his Christmas tree.
A few volts below threshold.
A few yards short of the hole.
A flower short of an arrangement.
A flying buttress short of a cathedral.
A handle short of a suitcase.
A kangaroo loose in her top paddock.
A lap behind the field.
A little light in his loafers.
A looney tune.
A mental midget.
A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
A Neanderthal brain in a Cro-Magnon body.
A notch off the timing mark.
A one-bit brain with a parity error.
A pane short of a window.
A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.
A quart low.
A return with no gosub.
A room temperature IQ.
A semitone flat on the high notes.
A signature short of a book.
A sleeve/button short of a shirt.
A span short of a bridge.
A square with only three sides.
A teabag short of a pot.
A teapot with a cracked lid.
A titanic intellect... In a world full of icebergs.
A tower short of a castle.
A vacuum-tube brain in a microchip world.
A VGA card and a Herc monitor.
A victim of retroactive birth control.
A violin minus the bow.
A wind-up clock without a key.
All booster, no payload.
All crown, no filling.
All hammer, no nail.
All hat and no cattle.
All his eggs in the same basket.
All missile, no warhead.
All shot, no powder.
All the lights don't shine in her marquis.
All the personality of linoleum flooring / plasticene / putty / caulking / saran wrap.
All the sex appeal of a wet paper bag.
All wax and no wick.
Always in the right place, but at the wrong time.
Always sharpening his sleeping skills.
An 8080 in a 68000 environment.
An Apple IIe on UUCP.
An ego like a black hole.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
An expert on the historical significance of cottage cheese.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
An XT clone in a Pentium zone.
Ano-fossal ambiguity (can't tell his ass from a hole in the ground).
Any slower and he'd be in reverse.
As bright as a nightlight / small appliance bulb / tulip bulb.
As happy as if he had brains.
As quick as a corpse.
As sharp as a marble / bowling ball / beachball / pin head / bowl of Jello, and twice as smart.
As sharp as a sack full of wet mice.
As smart as a politician/lawyer is honest.
As smart as bait.
As smart as Christie Brinkley is ugly.
As thick as two short planks.
Attic's a little dusty.
Back burners not fully operating.
Bad spot on the disk.
Bats in the belfry.
Batteries not included.
Been napping in front of the ion shield again.
Been playing with his wand too much.
Been playing with the pharmacy section again.
Been short on oxygen one time too many.
Been using her head as a mass driver.
Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
Blew his O-rings.
Blew the hatch before the lock sealed.
Blocked one too many hockey pucks / soccer balls / punches with his head.
Born a day late and like that ever since.
Born ugly and built to last.
Both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat.
Bright as a Zippo lighter without a flint.
Bright as Alaska in December.
Bright as an acetylene torch -- without an oxygen supply.
Bubbles in her think tank.
Caboose seems to be pulling the engine.
Borrowed from
http://members.aol.com/richrwg/insults.htm