[Pagan]

Chronic pain sucks. It gets us down in ways that "medicine" can't measure or even really treat very well. All you can do is what works for you. If it is keeping to your own schedule and doing what you can do well, then stick with it until the pain eases off. Don't add stress to the pain.

One other thing that may well be contributing is the amount of sunlight and vitamin D3 you are getting. When I first moved to Finland after living in Texas, I about went nuts. Mid-December is our darkest time, and we get less than 6 hours a day of sunlight (if it can break through the clouds). Dark and gloomy doesn't begin to describe it. Today was also cold and rainy. I now have a daylight bulb in my worklight and have been taking 20,000 micrograms of D3 every day. My mood this year is better than the last 2. I am a bit more focused and my short term memory is better.

There are several people in my life that should also be here but are not for one reason or another. I do miss them very much, but there isn't anything I can do to bring them back or I would. We went to the local cemetery on Christmas Eve Eve and lit candles for my husband's family buried there, and those that are buried elsewhere. The entire graveyard was so beautiful and peaceful. Focusing on the gifts they gave us while they were here does help a tiny bit. It does suck to get older, too.

Here's hoping it gets better this next year...